Please give me your three most helpful suggestions on how to heal a broken heart and shattered dreams. I am 40 years old and not inexperienced, just broken up with the man of my dreams and would like your suggestions on how to get through this with a minimum of mental and emotional scaring. He was also my best friend and the one I talked to about everything so it has left a huge hole in my heart.
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You just have the initial shock of being single… This stage will pass.
Spend time with yourself, get to know you better, go out and do things that you havent before. Go do things that you couldnt do before. Enjoy life.
People often come and go, but the person youre going to spend the most time with is you. So enjoy your own company
Aww broken hearts can really stink. This will take some time, but it will heal, believe me. Talking it out with friends and family will definitely help, or just talking to people on here. Try to distract yourself and try not to get hungover on the break-up, just accept that the relationship didn't work out and try your best to move on.
Try to get some excercise instead of laying around, although this is probably all you feel like doing. Go for a walk outside in the fresh air.
It's proven that most people think your heart will take forever to heal, but actually most people are almost back to their normal selves within 2 months of the breakup, if you avoid contact with this person.
As much as you want to run back to this person, just think… will it hurt you more than benefiting you?
i just went through the same thing and i am only 13……. :'( i cant handle it i am way too young and i can physicaly feel my heart breaking peice by peice. my boyfriend broke up with me 2 nights ago and i will never forget it because despite my young age i really think i truly did love him and he told me he would never let me go and that he would fight for me if he lost me then all of a sudden he breaks up with me for this girl named olivia :'( i just want to die
hey..
Of course, you will be sad and broken-hearted when your lover leaves you. This cannot be avoided. However, an intelligent girl will not let it affect her so much, she knows what is good for her and will recover her balance quickly by going through this on
I am sure yyou will definitely get the exact HELP from there.
Thanks
Try to keep yourself busy/go out with friends as often as possible. Doing stuff will keep your mind off what happened. And you never know, you might meet someone new while going out
try to make urself busy.
go to gym and work-out.
go out on dates.
dont eat much coz it will make u sad and fat.
the only way fix it is to flush it all away
Try to understand why you are upset. Understand that everything happens for a reason. What exact moment did you feel upset?
Don't think about whose fault it was- at one time or another, everyone makes mistakes. Don't worry about it.
Do something quiet and relaxing to help you feel better. Maybe you want to take a hot bath, or meditate, or read a book. That's fine.
In an hour, or two, or whenever you're ready, start thinking about whether you are ready to accept the other person's feelings.
If you are, go ahead, call them, write them a note, or whatever you need to do. Maybe you want to talk face-to-face. They may not be willing to see you, or talk to you, but you should make an effort. Even if they turn you down, you feel better that you tried, and maybe they'll recognize that you made an effort.
Move on. When you feel you are ready to open your heart again, find someone else to be with.
Smile! Seriously, smiling makes you feel better and if you gather a few good, close friends and have a laugh together, you'll remember how good life was without him/her and that you're okay really.
Remember the 2-year rule. It takes 2 years to learn a new job, to get accustomed to a new town and to completely heal a broken heart. If you follow these steps without remembering this first, you will be overly optimistic and disappointed. Real results are obtainable when realistic expectations are set.
The moment he, she or it hammers the last drop of blood from your still loving/beating heart, stop arguing with that person or the fantasy voice of that person about how they are wrong and you are right. Everytime you catch yourself arguing your point in your own mind, just say stop and focus on something completely different.
Gather all the memories of that person and put them in a box, with the exception of 1 picture, one item of food, one item of smell association and one related music item. Then on the next occasion of significance (a Saturday night for example…when you would have normally been with your heartbreaker…put on the music, douse yourself in the scent of memory, eat the special food, turn the lights down low, and cry and rant and wail. You must be at the top of your voice and able to move around the room. Note it is best to do this when you are alone — see "how to act crazy" post.
Put away the memories. When you regain composure from step 2, put the remainder candy wrappers, music, item of smell memory in the box with the rest of the memory debris. Keep out the picture.
Every day for a week when you walk by the picture of your former beloved, say out loud, "Forget you and the horse you rode in on," or some other suitable invective and then catch yourself arguing with the memory and say stop. Say it out loud, be your filthy angriest self in these mutterings.
Every day for the second week when you walk by the picture of your former beloved, say out loud. I miss you, and then catch yourself arguing with the memory and say stop.
Every day for the third week when you walk by the picture of your former soul mate, say I am sorry out loud to the picture.
Replace the picture of your former dearest, with a picture of yourself. But keep the picture in the same place, just put a picture of you on top of it. Then every day when you walk by the picture, say I am sorry out loud to the picture. Yes you are apologizing to yourself for having gone that far around the bend for someone who didn't know your value and worth, and who doesn't matter anymore.
Let time heal. It has been one month now. Go to someplace where you used to go or be near your so-called one-true love and go there with a friend (not alone, this is important). Mention 1 time and 1 time only how you used to drink at this very bar or your used to fend off Mr or Mrs. Wonderful's advances in that same back store room, mention it once only and then have a drink or file some papers, or do what ever you used to do, only now with a different person, preferably a comfortable friend who can smile knowingly then move the conversation forward.
Practice being honest to yourself every day.
Read a book every night before you go to sleep. You might never have read books, but nothing moves you outside of yourself better than a book, not a movie, not a music video, read a book. It will help you heal.
Start dating other people again and not be a raving lunatic after about 2 months.
Speak to people. Speak to friends. Try out forums online. Knowing that thousands like you are going through the same pain helps a lot.
[edit] TipsDo not go on any dates with the person from whom you are trying to heal. This is not productive and will not lead to healing. There is no more closure. There is only healing.
When trying to heal do not accept phone calls and exchange flirty emails with the former object of your desire. This is also not productive and will only prolong the healing process.
You are not healing from the broken heart your sweeti
First, let me start out by saying that this man was not the man of your dreams. The man of your dreams would never leave you, would never seriously hurt you, and would treat you like the woman you deserve to be treated as. Once you open up to that idea you'll come to realize that the man of your dreams is still out there and is waiting for you. It sounds cheesy but remember when one door closes another one opens. How was the real man of your dreams supposed to find you if you were with someone else
Second, there is no easy solution for a broken heart. It sounds like you had your future planned out with this man and the only thing that is going to ease some of the pain right now is to cry. This is technically a morning period so just cry and scream all you want. If you weren't supposed to your body wouldn't naturally be trying to do so. Your life is changing so feel free to scream and throw a tantrum like a three year old.
Third, once you've dried your eyes somewhat (because there is a slight chance you'll cry every blue moon) go do something for yourself…get the hair cut you've always wanted. I know personally I was engaged a few years back and my ex loved my hair so after we broke up I grew my hair out and chopped of the amount he used to see and touch and dyed it (however that doesn't work for everyone)
Fourth, keep yourself busy. Do not become a recluse. Pick up a hobby. Make a list of things you've always wanted to do and go out and do some of them. Now that you're single you have more freedom to do whatever.
Fifth and Final, SINGLE IS NOT A BAD WORD!!! Embrace your inner diva that is in all of us. Be fierce and enjoy the spoils of being you…..you'll find your way. I promise
Best wishes
I am 19 years old, an age that many might consider too young to have experienced real heartbreak. But I assure you, I have felt the same pain. I dated a girl for 3 years who I could have happily grown old with; I felt content with the idea of never so much as looking a another girl. We were happily planning on a marriage at 25. But things fell apart when she moved, and when it was finally ended, I wanted nothing but to lay in bed and cry all day. She was everything.
It seems like everything you come cross reminds you of what you had, food loses taste, and the only thing you can think about is what could have been.
It has been a year since then, most of which I spent in a state of self-pity and regret. I'm here to tell you not to make that mistake. It may seem like a hopeless situation, like your greatest chance for happiness is gone; but I promise you this- with time comes healing.
Many people will try to eliminate every facet of their former life with their loved one to "forget" about the entire thing. Don't do this. If you held him deep to your heart, trying to force him from it will only cause pain. The truly memorable ones leave their mark permanently, but it only turns into a scar if you allow it to.
Stay friends with him, certainly he must feel some emptiness from your absence as well. Don't try to force a second attempt, though. If it is meant to happen, it will work itself out.
And when you reminisce on times past, remember only the happiness and block the urge to despair over having lost it. Let good memories remain good, or else they are nothing but a poison in your blood.
If nothing else, take from the experience the knowledge that there IS happiness to be had in the world. And running into it again will be as simple and unexpected as when you met him, you just have to be patient.
Best wishes to you
well, why aren't you with him. if he is your half, you will never be complete. sometimes the woman has to humble herself and become like the Queen of Cups–generous, emotional, loving, giving, mothering, forgiving, understanding, feminine, receptive, communicative. Do you know, that is what makes a man fall to his knees? You better think about this? What is better, swallow your pride and fall to your knees or lose him? I promise you, the man ain't gonna do all that? But, he will surely pass you by for the woman who will.
WOW if you have a hole on your heart i would strongly recommend seeing a doctor